Grrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!

Augghhhhhh!!!

What a shitty day I'm having.

This morning I got to the bus stop in time for my togo cup of coffee to cool to non-flesh searing temperature. As i am prepared to take my second sip the bus pulls up to take me to school; it's late. The bus driver tells me I am not allowed to take food or drink on the bus. I snap:

"I wouldn't want my coffee to disturb all the rubbish on the fucking floor!" I said before pouring it out on the sidewalk.

The two classes I had nearly put me in a coma.

The only remedy to a bad Thursday is new comics, right? Wrong. Thanks to Christ dying and coming back on the weekend it is postponed til tomorrow. They were just sitting in boxes on the stairs at Forbidden Planet. Arrrrgggghhhhh!

Now that I am home the only thing that was keeping me from climbing a clock tower with a rifle was a double bill of the Simpsons. Wrong. The first episode is the one about Radioactive Man #1.

Oh cruel fate! Why dost thou mock me?

I am sitting with a caffeine deficiency-induced headache listening to "Diabolus in Musica" by Slayer. If a telemarketer calls me I may pull a Hannibl Lecter and talk them into swallowing their tongue...

The "Me" Meme

I stole this from Nick Locking. Damn him and his Narcissistic Self-Obsession! And apparently we both enjoy a Snickers bar. Well...it's a long one so here we go:

1. First Name: Desmond
2. Were you named after anyone? My mother's father. I never met him.
3. Do you wish on stars? Not since I was very young, wishing for a dog but never got one.
4. When did you last cry? Red Nose Day. There was a documentary on TV about AIDS in Africa and the orphans of the victims. Very sad. But, it was also quite nice to see who it was my minimal efforts were helping.
5. Do you like your handwriting? I have absolutely disgusting writing for a writer/English teacher. I should be ashamed but really I'm just a little embarassed.
6. What is your favorite lunch meat? Uhmm....thinly sliced chicken breast. Ham'll do though.
7. What is your birth date? April 12th 1980. I only wrote it out because I'm never sure if it should be written as: 12/04/1980 or 04/12/1980.
8. What is your most embarrassing CD? I'm not really embarassed about any of my CDs but if it were up to public opinion of those who have seen my collection it must be either "My Way: Frank Sinatra's Greatest Hits," or any of a group of Slayer or GWAR albums. Soon to be replaced by Guns N Roses' next album but who knows when that will ever come out...
9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? I'm not sure. I am intimidatingly handsome and extremely clever but I'm also quite modest.
10. Are you a daredevil? Not in any extreme sense. I'm not itching to jump out of a plane but I will eat/drink something that's a few days past its expiry date.
11. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? Not sure.
12. Do looks matter? Yep.
13. How do you release anger? In short quick bursts of an automatic rifle.
14. Where is your second home? Well, right now it's Glasgow. But at home home (Canada) it must be Greyhaven Hobbies.
15. Do you trust others easily? No. I'm quite untrusting of people I meet. Bit of a misanthrope.
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? Probably the Snake Eyes w/ Timber Wolf G.I . Joe figure until I lost Timber Wolf in a hayloft and poor old Snake Eyes was never the same.
17. What class in school do think is totally useless? As a teacher I feel compelled to say that all classes in school are useful but the high school student in me says Math.
18. Do you have a journal? I have two things resembling journals: this here blog and an idea book for story ideas.
19. Do you use sarcasm a lot? No, I would never stoop to the weak depths of using sarcasm. Note the sarcasm
20. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? Used to when I was in high school but now I do something called "enjoying the music." Try it.
21. Favorite movie? God! I don't know. Right now: Akira Kurosawa's "Throne of Blood." Best adaptation of Macbeth yet.
25. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No. I slip them on and off and them re-tie them once in a while when I'm wearing them.
26. What's your favorite ice cream? Since I'm lactose intolerant I don't usually partake in cream of the iced variety but if my digestive system is feeling adventurous (see question #10) then it must be Rocky Road.
27. Shoe size? 10 or 11 in good ole North America. Damn you Europe and your strange shoe sizes!
28. What are your favorite colors? Black, red and dark blue.
29. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? My intimidating good looks. No, just kidding. My modesty.
30. Who do you miss most? Mom and Dad in Toronto.
32. What color pants are you wearing? Blue denim.
33. What are you listening to right now? A track called "The Man in the Lower Left Corner of the Photograph" from Mike Patton's Adult Themes for Voice. Just a man, a hotel room, lots of drugs and a microphone. That is the most obscure reference I will probably make all day and I'm full of them.
34. Last thing you ate? A bowl of granola. Fuck. I think I'm a hippy.
35. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? I don't know...I'd be lodged in Homer Simpson's cerebrum.
36. What is the weather like right now? Cold and grey. But that's Glasgow all year.
37. Last person you talked to on phone? Funnily a recorded message from a telemarketing firm. The ones that trick you with the conversational tone of their message. Tricky bastards. Al Qaeda got the wrong building.
38. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? How they're not as beautiful as my wife. Though my wife is a member of the opposite sex...
40. How are you today? Alright I guess.
41. Favorite Drink? Right now it's a tie between Carling Extra Cold Lager and coffee.
42. Favorite sport? Hockey. Or, as they call it over here, ice hockey. Damn grass hockey playing Brits!
43. Hair color? Light brown on top but red in the beard. I think I'm a Viking.
44. Eye color? Grey/blue. And yes I spell grey with an "e." That is the only way to spell it.
45. Do you wear contacts? Nope. Don't wear glasses either.
46. Favorite month? Uhm...October? Halloween is my favourite day of the year. It's the one day when I'm excepted as a fascist, demonic bastard.
47. Favorite food? I don't know...curry and chips. That healthy Brit food.
48. Last movie you watched? Dark Water.
49. Favorite day of the year? See question # 46
50. Scary movies or happy endings? Scary movies. No doubt about it. And scary movies with happy endings suck bigtime!
51. Summer or winter? Winter. The sunmakes me crispen. And not the weird Back to the Future guy...
52. Hugs or kisses? Both. But if I had to choose one: hugs.
53. Relationships or one night stands? As a married man there is only one way to answer this...
54. What is your favorite dessert? Snickers.
57. Living arrangements? A flat in a tenement house in the East end of Glasgow.
58. Are you married or do you want to get married? I am and the one will do thanks.
59. Do you have any kids or do you want to have kids? Don't have any at the moment but I do want some. I want enough for a rock band or an entire hockey line.
60. What books are you reading? A book on Celtic Mythology and "Yellow Dog" by Martin Amis. I just finished Alan Moore's "Voice of the Fire."
61. What's on your mouse pad? A coffee cup usually.
62. Favorite Games? Scrabble, Scattegories...god I miss my Xbox!
63. What did you watch on tv last night? Two episodes of CSI. The original is alright but that NYPD Blue fuck on the Miami version is a smarmy bastard and I hate him. No really, I really really hate him.
64. Favorite smells? Steak.
65. What is the first thing you think when you wake up? 5 more minutes! Please God! 5 MORE MINUTES!

---

Whew...Would have had this posted yesterday but it was taking long and them blogger started to fart out on me so there you go.

Aquaman won...

What? Don't get the title? Read the post below...

Well, Easter Monday. The day Jesus had to go back to work.

---

Some quick things tonight:

Everybody go say hello to Portia at Vesper's Escape. She has lately discussed things as varied as academic life and how masturbation kills kittens. And I know her...Portia, Dav and I are taking over. Look out.

Oh yeah...Dav, I'm not linking to your site until you post those sketches of Jesus and Aquaman!

---

Just got back from a viewing of Dark Water. A horror film directed by the previously mentioned (scroll down) director Hideo Nakata. He's the guy who directed the original Ring movies and the American sequel as well. I'll be even more familiar with his work at the end of this week as Ringu 2 is on tele over here on Thursday and I'll go see Ring Two on Saturday (hopefully).

First time I've been scared by a movie in ages...

---

Something scarier courtesy of the Smoking Gun: the boy who went on the latest high school killing spree made a flash film and put it on the internet...not for the faint of heart

---

and to make sure I leave on a lighter note...Neil Gaiman has posted an excerpt of his forthcoming novel Anansi Boys. From what I understand, an odd and comedic sequel to American Gods.

Bye bye

Happy Easter Everyone!

I've been chatting to Dav so I have decided to verbalise (type-alize?) a team-up we have come up with...

here it is in its unedited glory:

Davinder hates you says:
alright, i should go pretend to work.

Des says:
i should go to sleep...megan's making me celebrate the faked death and reappearance of Christ in a few hours

Des says:
i'll pretend he's Hawkeye and things will be okay

Davinder hates you says:
one of the earliest superheroes

Des says:
and he's got an Aquaman beard

Davinder hates you says:
heheheh

Davinder hates you says:
walks on water instead of swimming in it

Davinder hates you says:
i see a teamup

Des says:
totally! he can turn water into wine so they can totally get smashed together

Davinder hates you says:
hehehe

Davinder hates you says:
it starts as a misunderstanding/ fight, as always, and that's how jesus attacks aquaman, by turning the water around him into wine!

Des says:
yeah....but they get together and take down pilate at the end

Davinder hates you says:
this must be written! but you realize that it will break your marriage

Des says:
it's going on the blog as we speak!

Davinder hates you says:
!!

Davinder hates you says:
what if someone steals it?

Des says:
then I'll just say that I came up with Desolation Jones and everything will be ok [i'd have to post the entire chat for you to understand this but it stems from me stealing a post from Warren Ellis but it's okay because I came up with Authority]

Davinder hates you says:
you know what's funny is that i'm already drawing out the faces

Davinder hates you says:
differentiating between aquaman's warrior king face and jesus's shepherd face

Davinder hates you says:
ooo, how about they team up against poseidon?

Davinder hates you says:
aquaman's got a rivalry with poseidon, and jesus won't like him because poseidon is a pagan god

Des says:
dude! I've already pasted it in the blog! I'll have to add it in!

Davinder hates you says:
and poseidon hates jesus because the coming of christianity means the end of the greco roman pantheon!

Des says:
that's fricking gold! keep the blasphemy coming

Davinder hates you says:
hahahaha

Davinder hates you says:
there's a book on the life of christ that i was looking at a few days ago that i'll have to read now to get more ideas

Des says:
get to work man!

Davinder hates you says:
we'll have God and AOL/ Time-Warner against us

Davinder hates you says:
imagine the persecution

Des says:
bring it on!

Davinder hates you says:
i smell great things in the offing

Davinder hates you says:
alright, you go to bed, and we'll kick around more ideas later

Des says:
indeed...when i said this chat was going up on the blog i wasn't lying by the way

Davinder hates you says:
hehehhe, i figured

Des says:
yeah

Des says:
i'm a bastard that way

Davinder hates you says:
i'll be sure to point people over there

Des says:
good! I need all the readers I can get. My counter fell asleep yesterday!

Look out for Jesus and Aquaman vs. Poseidon coming next Easter from DC comics and the Gideons. Goad Dav into posting those pictures of Jesus and Aquaman.

New comics day and more

As far as comics go...it was a pretty slow day (thankfully, next week is packed with DC stuff).

I only picked up one book! Here goes:

Shaolin Cowboy #2-
After the first issue's excesses I wasn't too sure about this series. I mean, it had a 10 page extended panel and some of the most excessive violence I've ever seen. There was almost zero story but the amazing art from Geof Darrow made me come back for the second helping, and I'm glad I did.

This issue, on the other hand, contains eleven pages of our title hero having a kung fu match with his nemesis, a crab!

Sounds absurd, and well...it is.

That's the charm though. We actually get quite a lot of back story on the crab (King Crab) including perhaps the funniest single panel I've seen yet. An assortment of Asian guys doing Tai Chi-type movements with a crab following! Crazy shit.

By the end of this issue we still know next to nothing about our hero but with him riding away in a very Eastwood-like scene I think that's what we're in for. I'm alright with it.

Overall: Amazing detailed art. The story lacks in places but it is absurd and hilarious. Pick it up.

---

Very quickly now...some stuff I found on the internet:

www.the-tape.com for some Ring Two hype

I have been taking a film class on the evolution on the horror genre the past few weeks and the instructor (Andy Dougan) interviewed Hideo Nakata, the director of Ring Two and the original Ringu films, who told him that the test audiences idea blew him away. In Japan, he says, there isn't enough money to pay people to watch a movie and complain about unless they are critics.

He also mentioned something very cool. He said that after his films he likes people to be scared for about 24 hours. Enough to affect their lives in a small way but not enough to traumatize them. He seems very nice. I'd go for the trauma every time...but I'm a sadistic bastard.

---

And, very quickly, the funniest thing I've seen in a while: The Ending to Every Eighties Movie Ever Made

Please check this out...it made my day.

Later folks

More Unused Band Names and other stuff...

First off, I'd like to mention that I stole this link outright from Warren Ellis' page but since the three people who regularly read mine don't read his then here it is: Not for Human use

It's not a thing of beauty but it is kind of crazy...

---

To clarify my earlier post: I don't currently own, or have ever owned a Pound Puppy. I swear...


No, seriously.

---

Here's more unused band names (as per usual, those in italics will be new and any band wanting them can have 'em) :
1) Bastard Sockhop
2) Sack of Ferrets
3) Openly Straight
4) The Mung Beatles
5) Detritus
6) Terrible Beauty
7) Schnauzer Snake
8) Sirius
9) Orion's Belt (alright! if you can't tell I went to the Science Centre today)
10) Miss Take
11) The Stephen Hawking Project

Hehe...I particularly like that last one...

---

I have discovered that the battery on my iPod is fading and I'll have to buy a replacement and put it in myself. This depresses me. If this will wipe the memory from my iPod please tell before I do so as my iTunes is in Canada and my iPod will be useless without music!

---

Some drunk guy at work tonight: "Whass yer name mate?"
Me: "Des"
Some drunk guy at work tonight: "Des, sorry to disappoint you."

Not sure what was going on in his head but it may have been the most meaningful conversation I've had all day.

---

Just talking on MSN with my pal Ed who's into promotion for a music company. He's going to send me a copy of the limited edition Queens of the Stone Age album so let me be the first to say Nananananana! He gets my award for Hero of the Day. Cheers Ed!

That's me for now.

Satan is real...

and he makes album covers for bad gospel acts apparently:


Forgive me, I'm feeling saucy today with very little of importance to talk about...

First things first:

There's a new Fantomas album coming out in a few weeks. Go check out the music sample here

In other Mike Patton news: he's done an album with the dj team the X-Ecutioners in the form of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners

If you're a Patton maniac like I this will be unmissable shit!

---

If you look at this and don't go "awwww" then we can't be friends...

---

This is most certainly the awesomest thing I've seen today!

I'd love to have my Pound Puppy as the Herald of Galactus: "Go forth Spot. Galactus hungers!"
Did I just mention that I own a Pound Puppy?

---

As you can probably tell I'm enjoying this multiple picture trick Dav showed me.

---

The Pulse has announced that Thomas Haden Church will be Spidey's new villain in the third film. Let the geek speculation begin! I say he is either Carnage (who they'll call Venom but he'll probably be Cletus Kassady) or I distinctly remember Raimi talking about making up a new character for the next film's villain...

I'm charged for more bullshitting but I have to iron my shirt for work tonight so I'll return later tonight perhaps.

DC lied to me and other pretty images...

Just went and looked at some stuff when I should have been working and decided to post some things I'm excited about....

I do feel a little lied to by DC when they said that the Ross/Lee Countdown cover wasn't the actual cover. I was under the impression the art would change not the title:


Speaking of Crisis (of the Identity persuasion). Finally someone is doing something interesting with the JLA again!

Good! Hit him Batman! He deserves it! Ya winged bastard!

I am alllllll about Alex Ross' Justice series...

I can't find anything wrong with this image. I can't wait for the series...

Fabry painting the cover to the comic book adaption of Gaiman's novel Neverwhere? Oh yeah!

The blurred faces are really awesome and the colours on the girl really stand out. Me likey.

If you aren't excited about new Jonah Hex then I don't think we can be friends...

One ugly, badass mofo!

And not to leave Marvel out. The only cool cover image I've really seen in their solicitations:

Uhmm...yeah!

and again:

Ennis writing Ghost Rider? Automatic first issue buy. I like this Clayton Crain guy too. Is he doing interior art for this?

---

Here's a link to a five page preview to the Countdown to Infinite Crisis. Goodbye Blue Beetle.

---

I don't want to go back to work on this absolutely dreadful assessment assignment (say it ten times fast).

I'll probably come back tomorrow to review Warren Ellis' Orbiter and bitch about my iPod woes...

Later.

Under The Radar: Batman: The Scottish Connection

Okay, from time to time I may review a comic that may have been overlooked by the mainstream (thus the title of this post).

Today, it will be my recent eBay win: Batman: The Scottish Connection!


Hello!


Actually, I may have a little more insight on this book than most. I saw Alan Grant give a talk at the writer's festival here in Glasgow where he talked mainly about this book. What was said was that, in the past, when heroes would come to Scotland (Nick Fury and Spiderman were two examples) it was perceived as an exotic locale populated by monsters and kilt-wearing villans...

While kilt-wearing villains appear in this book, Grant went one farther and gave Bruce Wayne (that's Batman you know?) a Scottish heritage. Thus, the winged rodent has a reason to be there and a connection to its people.

The villain, Fergus Slith, has a purpose similar to Batman: revenging his family. Although, like many mirrored-origin Batman villains (Deadshot comes to mind) violence is being used which seperates the two character's intentions.

The art is fantastic. Mr. Quitely's pencils are wonderful and crisp compared to how it appeared in some New X-Men issues. I found that it would occasionally get dark for no reason. But here, it's bright and displays excellent talent. Very reminiscent of the All-Star Superman preview art.

The writing. I love Alan Grant but here he does little to make this a Batman story as opposed to a hero in Scotland story. The closest he gets is the mirroring of the villain's origin. The connection to the locales (Rosslyn Chapel years before DaVinci Code brought it fame) makes it interesting. The dialogue is where the writing prevails here. Alfred is written wonderfully and I tend to think if Alfred is written properly then it's a good Batman story. Flawed logic, maybe, but it works for me.

Overall: Excellent art + great writing + Alfred = recipe for good stuff. Get it if you can.

Marvel's June Solicitations

My immune system is betraying me (Mutiny on the Dezzie) to the point that I was not up to going to Robots this morning with my consort and our friends kids (we feel weird sitting in the theatre for a kids show so we tend to kidnap kids of friends and relatives to validate our movie-going experience). I've spent the day watching Daily Show episodes from a DVD my brother-in-law put together for me before coming to sunny Glasgow (which, funnily enough, is actually sunny today and warmer than it was in August!). Needless to say I'm feeling excessively sardonic and cynical (sardinical?) so bear with me...

---

I'm not going to mention everything being released, only the things that amuse me or make me shake my head. If you want to look at the covers go to Newsarama as I have yet to uncover the intricacies of posting more than one picture in a single post...Davinder knows but won't tell me in fears that my blog may one day surpass his blog in coolness. Dirty. Bastard.

House of M #s 1 and 2-
Since I'm a sucker for a big event, I won't lie to myself about not picking this up. Preview art looks fantastic! But, it's Coipel so I'm not surprised.

From what I can gather, Scarlet Witch is recreating the world in her (or her father's) image and things go a little haywire. Okay, not the most original plotline but it promises to be at least decent with Bendis writing and Coipel's lovely art.

What I hate is this: "please note: Each issue of house of m will have a special variant cover."

Gasp! What's that you say? I'm shocked! Marvel can't keep up to DC if it keeps reverting back to eighties and nineties tactics like this. I remember buying all 5 copies of X-men #1 and regretting it...when I was 11! Christ's sake.

Spiderman: House of M #1 (of 5)-
I can guarantee that I will not be getting this. Why you ask? Pointless tie-ins are out the window. For the most part, I find Mark Waid's writing sterile and lacking in personality. And...I also care very little for Spiderman as a character (although I like Millar's treatment).

Last Hero Standing #1-5-
A weekly attempt to copy the plotline of Contest of Champions but this time adding the future kids (Spider-Girl, ANext). More pointless big event stuff written by Tom DeFalco. Snorefest.

Not even Bagley's art could save this...

New Avengers #8-
I'll be getting it but not until the end of June at the earliest. For those who don't know, I am Canadian and get periodic shipments of comics from my local store at home so I've got a big pile of stuff accumulating until I get home. This is why new comics day doesn't have me picking up stuff like YTLM, Ultimates, Ex Machina, Fables, etc.... It's sitting at home.

I read issue 1 over Christmas break and #s 2 and 3 are (hopefully) arriving soon.

New Warriors #1 (of 6)-
Because you demanded it – the return of the New Warriors! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! ahem....BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Sorry but whoever demanded this is shy a chromosome or two (ouch! was that too harsh?).

I'm a little bitter about this because the premise is an idea I'd been working on in my little head. It involves reality TV and superheroes. Mine was more serious than this as it seems very cartoony and light-hearted. Damn you all to Hell, Marvel!

Astonishing X-Men #12-
After this issue Cassaday and Whedon are tking a hiatus to relieve my pocketbook. I've read up to #5 I believe and love it! Again, it's in my pull box back home. I look forward to more of this. Great art and dialogue. Something not readily available in Marvel's output a lot of the time.

Well...that's it I guess. Nothing really else that catches my interest or irks me enough to write about.

---

Very quickly: I received my copy of Batman: The Scottish Connection in the mail today from my eBay win (the replacement one, not the original from the bastard who's giving me the runaround that I reported). I'll crack it open tonight and let you know how it is tomorrow.

Back to John Stewart....

New Comics Day and other stuff...

Hello all!

No post yesterday as I am suffering from the cold that killed off both the dinosaurs and the Martians from the War of the Worlds (nothing common about it my friends). Still managed to make it out to the pub for a couple of pints of Guiness for St. Patty's Day (only the best reason for mindless drinking next to a Pogues concert). We came home as I started to fade pretty quickly and I read the day's comics in bed:

Wonder Woman #214-
Admittedly, this is the first WW comic I've ever bought. It will be the last.

Rucka's script was commendable only in pacing of scenes, Drew Johnson's art was cool and crisp and I've always loved Zoom as a villain. This issue was the second part of the crossover started in Flash #219. As I am reader of Flash I decided to follow the story and found nothing but disappointment.

These 2 issues should never have been made. Period. The entire relevance of the story could have been completed in a couple of panels of Gail Simone's soon to be released Villains United series.

Other than the issue's pointless direction, another thing bothered me: Flash gets his throat slashed no less than twice by Cheetah and not only does he heal ultrafast (something I'm willing to except) but his costume seems to heal itself and come undone over and over. I'm not a stickler for DC continuity like some other comic geeks out there ("Hey! Martian Manhunter can't be in Metropolis. He's off in another dimension battling rogue Thanagarian heroin deling pirates!") but some continuity within the issue would be nice.

Overall: Don't buy. Not even with someone else's money.

Captain America #4-
I love what Brubaker's doing with Cap. Obviously he's using the old "greatest hits" approach found in Batman: Hush and Millar's Spiderman and Wolverine but he's doing it with a character with such a rich background/supporting cast. A mixture of the new and the old. I love it!

Jumping back and forth between Epting's modern art and Lark's flashback art is not distracting at all. In fact it's rather welcoming.

Cap's emotional stoicism is captured perfectly (almost exhaustively mind you) in this issue and that is the only thing that bugs me. SPOILER-Cap, we can assume, receives information from Nick Fury that the graves of people he hardly knew (Spirit of '76 and The Patriot) have been desecrated but is never told that Nomad has been murdered. The guy was the second freaking Bucky for God's sake!-END SPOILER

Ah well. It all leads to a cool fight with Crossbones and that's all I need!

Overall: Check it out. Good art, good story and lots of cool plot intricacies.

Young Avengers #2-
I was impressed but weary after reading the first issue. Number 2 tells me I'm in for the long haul. Don't get me wrong, it's not any better than the first issue but it continues its pace. And that I'm happy with.

Cheung's art is beautiful and Heinberg manages to do the whole cliffhanger at the end of each episode thing he does with OC. The characters are intriguing.

It's also quite self-referential. After busting drug dealers they talk about the stupidity of leaving them there for the cops when Asgardian says: "That'll stand up in court." Excellent. Casting a new light on why all these villains reappear quite quickly. Hopefully the guys at Suspension of Disbelief pick up on that little nugget.

Cassie Lang is an interesting character and it will be good to see her as part of the team (which I'm sure will happen after the end of this issue). Not too sure about the Bishop girl but we'll have to see.

Overall: Definitely worth it.

Teen Titans #22-
While this is essentially a fight comic from beginning to end, it's a good one. Tons of action and well-rendered fight scenes. I'll miss Mckone when he defects to Marvel.

Here Dr. Light returns to get revenge on the JLA by killing their sidekicks. Great! Why not?

There's a nugget suggesting that Deathstroke and Rose are going to swoop in and make Dr. Light a part of the upcoming Villains United miniseries which doesn't surprise me. It's how the issue suggests it that surprises me...

Other great moments in this issue include SPOILERS-the return of Hawk & Dove and the assembly of pretty much every surviving member of the Titans with an absolutely fantastic last page-END SPOILERS.

Overall: Go for it. What are you waiting for? Maybe the best superhero comic out right now and you're not picking it up? For shame.

First time in recent memory I've picked up as many Marvel books as DC books and if I'd come to my senses and passed on WW #214 it would have tipped the scales. Although there was a week where the only thing I bought was an issue of Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes but that doesn't count. Why? Because I regret buying it.

---

Some other quick stuff:

I felt a need to post this. Heidi at The Beat posted a few days ago something to appease the male fanboys who put up with her constant pictures of men without shirts and here it is....hot chicks in superhero costumes!

---

What I'm listening to: Myspace.com is streaming the entire new album from Queens of the Stone Age until its release on the 22nd of March. Click on the link to check it out. I quite like it. It's not as good as Songs for the Deaf but not much is.

That's all for today.

The day is nearly done...

I'm getting sick (damn, germ-infested children) and I've included an animal abusers rendition of what I want to be doing tomorrow and the next few days...

---

My school placement has come to an end. Tomorrow is my last day. Had my final evaluation for this term today and did really well so I'm psyched. I bought celebratory beer on the way home as opposed to "drown my sorrows" beer.

---

New comics day tomorrow so I'll be getting some stuff to talk about, like Teen Titans #22! On the other hand, I've read three of the four volumes of Forge (the Crossgen anthology) and am a little impressed. A little.

Route 666, Meridian and Sojourn are books that I would have bought monthly (definitely Route 666) and The Path has Bart Sears' best work hands down. Although my distaste with most of Ron Marz's writing stops me from enjoying it.

Greg Land has been drawing beautiful women longer than I knew. It's what he does best. Should be interesting to get him on a more action/sci-fi based book like Ultimate Fantastic Four.

---

Ever been on an uncomfortable date or in a meeting you couldn't stomach. Want to get out of an inevitable fight with a significant other? www.bailoutfriend.com is your ticket out. Brilliant.

---

The White House Gay Sex party stuff I talked about yesterday...Mark Millar provides us with an interview from a Nebraskan senator originally supposed to root out the source of the lie but ends up supporting the gay prostitutes. It's an audio clip that's two hours long. Needless to say I haven't listened to it. Got too much stuff that actually exists in the real world to deal with let alone something which is beginning to sound more and more far-fetched by the second.

---

Want to know what made my day?

Brian Pulido is writing three books for Avatar. Click the link to discover their titles. I will say, though, that with the amount of superhero books I buy regularly I was thinking my comics aren't as depraved as they used to be...not so anymore my friends.

Anyway, that's me today. The sinuses are telling me that bed is calling.

Millarworld stuff...

Instead of preparing for tomorrow's lessons (which I have done enough of today dammit!) I'm surfing Millarworld for stuff but seem oddly drawn to a strange conversation on Mark Millar's shaved chest. I'd comment on the pathetic quality of this discussion but I have contributed to it so I better stop there...

---

Since you may not be able to enter Millarworld due to reasons such as not being a member I've stolen the following link: http://tomflocco.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=107&mode=&order=0&thold=0 Thanks Mark!
It is in regards to allegations of underage sex parties at the White House and insinuates that George HW Bush hung out with male prostitutes (yes..."hung out with") and that Hunter S. Thompson directed a snuff film.

Absolutely bizarre...It's like an issue of Preacher, only without the heroin and animal buggery.

---

I have now officially reported my negligible eBay seller and hope to have my refund soon as I have already replaced the item in another auction. If this one doesn't come through it's time to sit back and realise that God doesn't want me to own a copy of Batman: The Scottish Connection.

---

ah well...I'm going home, having a baked potato for dinner and serving the drunken masses liquor for 7 hours. If only my shipment of bulk poison would come in...did I type that out loud?

Here we are...

is what the title of the post below should read if fucking blogger.com would allow me to edit my posts without turning my pictures into wee boxes with x's in them!

The title: "Here we are..."

combined with the caption: "born to be kings"

and the picture of the castle behind that handsome couple is supposed to clue you all in that this is Eilean Donan (the place where they shot much of the Highlander movie).

But would they let me do that? Noooooooooo!!!!!!

Anyone has any advice on the matter please help me out.

This is a picture of my consort and I. The bloke in the background is my friend Pat who seems oddly drawn to the castle's majestic beauty. Come to think of it, we haven't seen him since. hmmmmmmm.....

born to be kings! 

here 

More Random Stuff...

Had a pretty laid back day today...

I watched The OC (I know, I know...but I'm hooked!) and it was probably the best episode I've seen yet. It was the one where there are excellently executed and hilarious quips delivered between Seth and his Dad, Seth and Ryan and Seth and every other character in the show. But this time Seth gets drunk yet still maintains the razor-sharp wit. And, in a shocking and totally unpredictable turn of events, the show's plot culminates with traumas experienced at a party! I'm being a little facetious, I am hooked to the damn show yet I see through its formulaic structure.

---

Doing a little schoolwork ("little" being the operative word) but can hardly keep my dirty mits of the internet!

---

Had a lovely meal for breakfast and dinner both cooked by my lovely wife Megan.

---

Having lots of fun with these lines that Dav told me about, thanks Dav!

---

I also discovered a great blog today: Tom Peyer's Superfrankenstein. I discovered it through Millarworld which has thankfully returned from its limbo. Superfrankenstein has done many clever things over the past few posts: enlightened me to a website detailing the Babes of Fox News, how Laura Bush is a traitor and how pathetic Dan rather has gotten. Keep it up Tom, I'll be back!

---

Sunday Times Ecosse section (Scottish version) has an article on bloggers. They draw attention to a listing of Scottish blogs. If that link doesn't work search for Gordon McLean and Scottish blogs, you should be okay. I'm a Canadian in Scotland so I'm not sure if I count but I would be honoured to be featured Gordon. Funny quote: "Virtually none of it is of any use to a reader."

---

Thought I might leave you with a picture you don't often see: me outside a pub.



It was taken in Edinburgh, I knew of its existence because of Dav (I'm not linking to your damn blog more than once a post you greedy bastard!) and thought it would be a great setting for a Hellblazer story: "Constantine at World's End"*

*copyright Des and his Bright Ideas. Try to use it. I dare you. Fat sweaty men will show up on your doorstep dressed as babies wielding pipe wrenches. Imagine the asscrack they'll show dressed in diapers as they fix your leaky faucet (if you know what I mean). *

*Get it? They're plumbers!

Random stuff...

Not much to talk about today but for a couple of nuggets:

The hangover from last night's The Mars Volta show subsided just in time for me to go to work slinging pints to the masses.

---

Bought and watched the Little Britain Comic Relief DVD today. It wasn't as funny as the actual TV show (which happens to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen) but it was easily worth the £5. And it's for charity! Go to the link to buy it.

---

Got my copy of Warren Ellis' Orbiter in the mail from eBay today so with that on top of the Crossgen books I got I've got some reading ahead of me.

---

I plan on adding some new names to my Unused Band Names posts so stay tuned...

---

Methinks that's it! Take care.

The Mars Volta in Glasgow

In a word: chaotic.

The Barrowlands ballroom ("probably the world's best venue" as the sign says) was buzzing from the moment I arrived.

DJ Nobody spun some laid back jazz stuff that had the heads nodding.

When The Mars Volta took the stage the entire place exploded. Honestly, I could probably name 5 songs of their's (only two that they played tonight) but from the moment they took the stage they owned the entire crowd.

Frenetic guitar riffs, drum and bass, and odd keyboard noises filled the air. Some of the best live drums I have ever heard were played tonight. It was far less a concert than a soundtrack for the night. There were maybe 3 breaks between songs and that resulted in absolutely zero crowd/singer banter (absolutely no "hello Glasgow!").

I have both the Tremulant EP and De-Loused in the Comatorium but if the live show is any indication Frances the Mute is a new masterwork. The new single, The Widow, consisted of the first 15 minutes of the set.

The band is currently a seven-piece (guitar, drums, bass, vocalist, keyboard and 2 percussionist/horn section guys). Cedric and Omar are not the only guys in the band (as the magazines would let you believe). Their drummer played - almost consistently - for 2 hours. It was brilliant!

If that wasn't enough, 2 other members of the band besides Cedric and Omar have white-guy afros. Tons of hair onstage but not in a Poison-type way.

It is hard to tell what genre of music was actually played tonight as things shifted between funk, jazz, rock, salsa, metal, drum and bass and house. Hard to tell how many songs were played as well but my count is 7. Anyone who was there that is reading this could correct me. 7 songs in 2 hours! Wow...teaches Tool a lesson.

If there was one thing to complain about it would be the price of a pint: £2.80 for Miller!

I would highly recommend this live show to anyone who enjoys live music, Mars Volta fan or not. There are a few shows left in Europe until they head to North America. Check 'em out!

New Comics Day

Okay, a day late but better late than never...

Very slow week anyway:

JSA #71:
This arc is tiring me out. Love the art but the writing is kind of boring. I'm tired of them meeting the former members who have retired/died through time travel. I can't wait til they come back and just have a battle with some supervillains destroying New York or something.

The cover art (by Dave Gibbons) is surprisingly mediocre. It looks like interior art and is hardly up to the quality that I'm used to in Mr. Gibbons' work.

The arc ends next month where Johns can hopefully make some sense of things before moving on.

Crossgen books:
The real find this week was not at Forbidden Planet but a bookstore called The Works that deals exclusively in cancelled prints and overprints. I went in looking for DVDs but came out with Volumes 10-13 of Forge (the anthology series collecting 6 different stories) for £4.50! Oh yeah! Good stuff so far. 196 pages a piece with some quality stuff by Marz and Bedard.

I never hopped onto the Crossgen bandwagon but I'll try and pick up the other copies of Forge and maybe some of Edge next week!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

As far as other things go I'm going to see The Mars Volta tonight so more later!

A Backward Look...

Much simpler times...

March 11/2005: In more ways than one. I posted this yesterday and due to my computer crapping out I thought that this never posted but, alas, it did.

I thought I would mention how oddly sexual this image appears to be (the Bert and Ernie of the sixties?). But, looking back, making a long post (that part didn't post) about the Odd Couple and topping it off with a Bill Clinton/cigar joke made me feel old. What doesn't help is that some children in my third year class (grade 9 for those in North America) were quoting lines from the Goonies and I butted in with the finish to a line of dialogue they were saying. A look of shock came over their faces when I told them that I saw that movie in the theatres when I was a kid. The surprise being was that the movie was made before they were born and remember seeing it (at the Caprice theatre in White Rock BC) quite clearly.

They spoke about it with such reverence that I would speak of Touch of Evil or Angels with Dirty faces or something. Odd...

ME Update

Well, since the last few posts have been silly and irrelevant (but fun) I thought that I would update those who care (hears crickets chirping in the distance) on what's going on with me this week...

ummm....well....I'm going to the comic book store tomorrow.

-Having major problems with one eBay auctioneer that hasn't sent my item to me (I won on January 18th!) and am about to report him to eBay if I don't have a refund by Monday (the 2 month anniversary).

-I've been taking a film class on the evolution of the horror genre at the Glasgow Film Theatre on Thursdays and tomorrow is my second class. Last week was all about German Expressionism in silent films like Nosferatu and Der Golem. This week is all about the Universal Monsters. Can't wait! I'm not talking much about this on the blog as of yet because I'll probably do a post on the entire experience after it's over.

-I've watched Banned in Britain (I think that's the title) over the last two nights on Channel 4. As an outsider I am quite shocked as to how much censorship has played out in the open here in the UK over the past 20 years. And I'm surprised how much I've come to hate Margaret Thatcher since I hardly knew who she was for the longest time. In the nineties she was nothing more to me than a character on a track from a Dead Kennedys album (Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death). I can't remember the name of the song but it's basically Jello Biafra playing Reagan as he bullies a very Marge Simpson-like Thatcher into drafting hooligans.

-I also caught John Cleese's Comedy Heroes (a new series highlighting the comedy heroes of famous comedians). Mr. Cleese's list was basically a who's who of comedy: Chaplin, Laurel and Hardy, The Marx Brothers, Michael Palin (duh), Sgt. Bilko (can't remember his name), etc. What I was surprised about was his inclusion of Bill Hicks as the only comedian who matters over the past decade or so. I agree wholeheartedly but it was nice seeing someone like Cleese do so as well.

-Besides seeing Throne of Blood over the past few days (see my review a few posts down) I've watched Creep and Amelie. Creep should really have been called Crap. It wasn't that bad but I had higher expectations I guess. I expected maybe something along the lines of 28 Days Later maybe. The problem was that it had a good premise but the acting didn't pull it off. Amelie, on the other hand, was delightful. Beautifully surreal. Glad I watched it. Too bad Audrey Tautou had to go and be in The DaVinci Code (blech!).

-Oh yeah! If you are reading this (again with the crickets!) go to Dav's blog and tell him to post some art. Haha! Tag!

That is all...and now for something completely different:

Oregon high school football coach accused of licking players' bloody cuts

HALSEY, Ore. (AP) - An Oregon state panel plans to investigate a

high school football coach who acknowledged licking a bloody cut on the knee of one of his players.

Hilarious! I'm a student teacher right now and, although we haven't had a lecture covering this, I think that this is probably a bad idea. Thoughts?

I couldn't resist....

I have recently decided not too double-post on one day but since the last post was rather inane and pointless (this one is intellectually stimulating, I swear!) I couldn't let this one slide having seen it. I found this on the Guardian website:

Necrophilia among ducks ruffles research feathers
Donald MacLeod Tuesday March 8, 2005

The strange case of the homosexual necrophiliac duck pushed out the boundaries of knowledge in a rather improbable way when it was recorded by Dutch researcher Kees Moeliker.

(More at the link...it's worth it)

Any Manowar fans out there?

Dear God!

The only thing, and I'll repeat that, the only thing scarier than this album cover is the name of the album implying this is a career retrospective of sorts.

I am a heavy metal fan (everything from Judas Priest to Mastodon to In Flames) and I don't think I have ever heard a Manowar song! Should I be thankful?

Sorry about this by the way...I'm having a shitty day and now so must you!

Je Vais Assassine la Samurai dans la Metro

In the past 24 hours I have watched Kurosawa's Throne of Blood, Creep and Amelie!

There would usually be nothing wrong with such a diverse weekend of film-watching but my mind is now making thematic links between the three. Damn you English Literature degree!

What helps when my brain does such things, you ask? I read things like this! I must remember to use this in a lesson on irony...

Throne of Blood

Ever wonder what you get when you take Shakespeare's greatest work-a dark tale of hubris, death, insanity and betrayal-and make all of the characters samurais?

Only one of the greatest films ever made!

After flicking through the channels (all five of them!) I discovered that I was tempted to watch Britain's Eurovision song contest qualifier and was filled with utter horror. Rather than hang myself I decided to watch the Akira Kurosawa directed "Throne of Blood", the classic 1957 adaption of Shakespeare's Macbeth.

The direction is classic Kurosawa: sweeping shots of rolling hills, men on horseback galloping to and fro (this time in and out of the mist) and lots of moody silence.

What sets this film apart is the acting. Toshiro Mifune plays Washizu (I'm assuming that's Japanese for "Macbeth" ;)) amazingly well. His fury and slow insanity really creeps into the film. It got to the point where I felt I didn't really need the subtitles: I knew the story and his facial expressions were enough to fillin the gaps.

But, lets face it, if the Macbeth character isn't incredibly well-acted then there's no use in talking about it. It's the Lady Macbeth character (played by Isuzu Yamada) who steals the show in my opinion. For what little screen time she actually gets her performance was excessively creepy. Every time I've seen a rendition of the play-whether it is a film or a play-there has been some sexual energy between the two leads. Not so here, my friends! She is played so cold that it is almost under-acted. Her facial expressions (or lack of) had me quite scared. It was this intense coldness that led me to think her eventual break with sanity would be seen as absurd. Kurosawa countered this by adding a plot thread that Shakespeare missed. Macbeth was without an heir and thus the paranoia sets in. Kurosawa added a possible heir in Washizu's wife. However, when she gives birth to a stillborn baby both of them fly off the handle.

This intensely emotional film is capped off with one of the more brilliant death scenes ever put to celluloid.

There is no higher recommendation from me. See this movie. It's got Shakespearean Samurais for God's sake!

I'll leave you with the Old Ghost Woman's advice to Washizu:

If you tread the path of demons...tread it in the most cruel, most hideous manner.

Millarworld Gone Gone Without a Trace

Is it sad that I've checked 6 times today to see if it's back up? Yes? Well.....shut up then.

Mark Millar's curse against all that is technological continues as their server demands more money for the increase in bandwidth (Dav, you're not the only one having the problem) after Millar's article in SFX gets wide readership.

How is the article you ask? I don't know! I buy all the guy's damn comic books I'm not spending £4 on a magazine when I can talk to him through Millarworld....oh yeah. Maybe I'll have to start buying the magazine.

Is it all a ploy to sell more magazines? No. No, it isn't.

New Comics Day!

Short post today because bed is calling like a sweet, mattressed siren. Bad similes aside....

Deadshot #4 (of 5):
I think Warren Ellis refers to these as fight comics. Balls to the wall (can't believe I just typed that) action starts the issue off as Deadshot takes on a former ally called The Closer (as in a business deal, not a doorman or a relative measure of distance). Great name. Don't really like the bad guy turned good cliche but I'm liking it here.

Instead of a spaghetti western this comic is, and I think I may have coined this phrase in an earlier email to a friend (Dav was that you?), a spandex western. It's cliche-ridden, sure, (Outlaw returns to old stomping grounds to discover he had a child with a woman he hardly knows and begins to settle down. In this case settling down being eradicating every criminal in a five mile radius!) but the character moments seem genuine enough and Steven Cummings and Jimmy Palmiotti do some nice artwork in both the action sequences as well as the character moments.

What bugs me about this issue, and it is not only this comic but many others, is that Christos Gage falls into the old storytelling technique by having two guys who obviously hate each other's guts talk while destroying everything around them in order to reveal what has happened in previous issues. Dialogue sample:
The Closer: "You cleaned out the local mobs, set yourself up with a nice piece of territory here. I respect that. We could still run it together. I'm not even really mad at you yet."
Deadshot: "I said it before Closer, and I'll say it again...get out of my neighborhood."

Oh well....it has to be tradition's fault if anybody's.

Justice League Elite #9 (of 12):
Okay, I'm going to say very little about this issue as it is packed with spoilers galore and I'm tired. The premise is basically: DC's Authority. JLE are a Black Ops strike force who try and hit first against criminals who may be planning some nastiness. It's about as dark as a DC book gets without having a Vertigo stamp in the upper left corner of the cover.

Familiar members of the team are Flash, Green Arrow, Major Disaster and Manitou Raven from JLA. Vera Black is the team's cybernetic leader who is having some mental issues at the moment involving her "deceased" brother, Manchester.

Joe Kelly is usually pretty hit and miss with me but his writing is sharp, mysterious and "meaty." It's grim but still has that DC sparkle you expect from their mainstream books. The art (by Doug Mahnke and Tom Nguyen) fits perfectly with the tone of the book. These guys made me groan on JLA but I'd expect no one better on JLE (except maybe Steve Dillon...a boy can dream).

Saying anymore might be a bad thing to those who have yet to check it out but it is definitely worth picking up the entire series. I was surprised at how much I liked it from the very beginning and would highly recommend it as it is really starting to come into its own. Good stuff!

Well, that hardly ended up being a longer post than I'd planned.

Bedtime. Good night.

Unused Band Names 2

Here's how it'll go from now on: I'll keep a running tab of all the band names I come up with but add new names in italics (these things) whenever I come up with them...

1) Bastard Sockhop
2) Sack of Ferrets
3) Openly Straight
4) The Mung Beatles
5) Detritus
6) Terrible Beauty
7) Schnauzer Snake

I really like Terrible Beauty...I stole it from Yeats.

Unused Band Names!

Very quickly now I thought I'd display one of my many talents and begin a list of Unused Band Names that can be used by anybody wishing to start a band...I only ask that I be told if they are being used and that I get an mp3 when one is made available.

Here goes:
1) Bastard Sockhop
2) Sack of Ferrets
3) Openly Straight

More to come........