Sunday, November 27, 2005

More movies...

Neil Gaiman's A Short Film About John Bolton

This is a bit of a gem. I've been meaning to see it for a while but none of the video stores in the UK had it when I was there. Lo and behold: the local video store had it in the general interest section.

This is a mockumentary by comic writer/novelist/screenwriter/director Neil Gaiman about dark fantasy painter John Bolton. Bolton is a bit of a reclusive who draws only gorgeous vampire babes looking at the viewer with mouths dripping blood. It is a film that asks where insiration comes from and looks at Bolton's damaged imagination.

It is quite interesting. It's funny, awkward and I questioned its authenticity as an actual documentary until the end. Check it out.


May is weird. May seems to draw weird people to her. Only, May is too weird.

That is essentially the premise of this first film written and directed by Lucky McKee (the only first time director and young fella added to Showtime's Masters of Horror series, yes I know Wes Craven said no but you get the idea).

Angela Bettis is amazing as May, the socially damaged girl seemingly obsessed with perfection. Bodily perfection. A young girl obsessed with body images no big stretch but May is obsessed with other people's body images. Or at least parts of their bodies.

The love interest is played by the guy who plays Brenda's psycho brother on Six Feet Under. The other love interest is played by Anna Faris of Scary Movie fame.

I have seen no other film like it. Imagine Mary Shelley writing Frankenstein today and you might get close to what this film is like. Highly recommended.

Whew! One more film to go: Bubba Ho-Tep. That's today.

I got System of a Down's new album, Hypnotize, yesterday and it's magnificent. They should certainly win an award for the cover art: non-toxic inks on 10% hemp paper, 90% unbleached recycled paper. It is the second of a double album of sorts of which the first was released in August. They both fold together! Wow!

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Tiny Update and Movie Madness!

Been a busy week at Casa Reddick.

Meg was sick on Monday and Tuesday but I didn't catch it til Wednesday, making the rest of my work week challenging.

Five days of teaching in one whole week! I'm becoming a regular. I'm already signed on for three days next week too.

Too bad I'm too busy dying of the friggin' bird flu to enjoy the weekend.

I know I promised samples (well, maybe not samples) of some stuff I'm working on at the moment but nothing is anywhere near the stage that I would want to parade it around in front of the scrutinizing eyes of the internet. Things are in motion.

I am preparing the big eBay Comic Purge of 2005 this weekend so hopefully I'll have it done by Sunday.

Meg and I rented a wack of films for the weekend and we've watched a few already. Here are some mini reviews:

The Delicate Art of Parking

An hilarious Canadian Mockumentary that acts as an insider's look at parking enforcement in Vancouver. It stars a few folks from Corner Gas and that kid who played "the nerd" in every kids television show Canada produced between 1989 and 1996. Now he plays the filmmaker.

While it cannot hold a candle to that other Canadian Mockumentary that may or may not be the greatest film ever made (Hard Core Logo) it still kicks all kinds of ass. Somewhere in the rambling hilarity of the film's beginning a story is introduced and you begin to care about these characters. Good stuff.

It was the acting that drove this one.

The Bunker

Supernatural/WWII film. This one is told from the perspective of a diminishing platoon of German soldiers retreating from the front lines of the war to an anti-tank bunker on the border of Germany and Belgium. I have never seen a horror/war film work very well before (Death Watch was OK I guess) because the horror of war is more than enough to drive a movie.

Here, however, we have a group of German soldiers (only one of them is really a Nazi; the others are just fighting someone else's war) terrified at the utter spanking they are getting from the Allies who retreat to a fortified bunker run by an old man and a young boy. Reservists. All of the other soldiers have been sent to the front lines.

You forget that these guys are what would normally be considered the "bad guys" due to three major factors: 1) the story is done well enough that you care about the characters enough to put it aside, 2) you never really see the American soldiers they speak so meekly of and 3) they speak with British accents! I hate when they do that in the movies.

The only thing worse than Nazis with British accents in movies is Nazis with bad German accents in movies so I'll be thankful for that.

Charley Boorman is the only actor I can name. Only because I know him as Ewan MacGregor's friend in the BBC documentary series "Long Way Round" (a fantastic collection of road diaries while the 2 drive their motorcycles from London to New York via Europe). He's piss poor in this one though.

I was expecting zombies in this one. It was the reason I picked it up. I love my zombies! But alas, no zombies. Instead they are haunted by their own fragmented minds and the memories of the things they'd done. Lovely.

The Stepford Wives

Yes, the remake.

I sought to rent a few films that Meg and I could watch together. You can imagine a horror film starring Nazis was not appealing for her.

I was quite impressed with this one. Very funny and extremely well-acted. Nicole Kidman, Glenn Close and, of course, Christopher Walken are all really good. Even Matthew Broderick (who hasn't been decent since Ferris Bueller's Day Off: you know you've seen it 6,743 times!) wasn't half bad.

A lot of the satire translated through decades intact and a few more were added for modern sensibilities. They end up going a little too far with the moralizing at the end but it may be necessary so that Johnny Dumbass doesn't come away from the film thinking "I wants me a robot Womanslave!"

That is all for now but I'll be back very soon. We have 3 more films to get through including A Short Film about John Bolton, May and Bubba Ho-Tep.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Productive day + Steady work makes Des a happy boy.

Haven't been posting very regularly lately.

I worked today as a bit of a throwaround teacher covering all sorts of fine folks at one of the local Middle Schools and discovered to my delight that I'll be working there through Thursday! This means, I believe, that the salary I'll be making for these four days will be that of a Category 5 teacher and not the measly pittance susitute teachers regularly get in this district.

Had a compliment from a teacher for whom I subbed a couple of weeks ago (on my first 2 days, no less) about how much work got done and how organized I was.

Yay me!

Story stuff:

Got two good ideas today for short stories and some head-plotting for something top secret I'm working on. All is not wasted in the Month of the Novel. Even though I haven't done much writing.

Edit: go see Rick from Dark, But Shining at his new blog Stacks, Not Shelves. Go and see it Now, Not Later.

Sorry. Couldn't resist.

Been a while

It's been a few days since my last post since we've had guests sleeping in the office (where my damnable computer is).

My computer is damnable simply because of the weird thing Internet Explorer is doing. It flashes on and off. The blue bar goes dull and I have to click on the webpage again.

This angers me so.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

My First Honest-to-God Supernatural Experience!

Now, I'll premise this by saying that Ive had a few experiences in my life when I thought I was dealing wth ghosts but have always chalked it up to an overactive imagination.

Today? No such chalking up. The following is a true account of my experience today...

Today I worked (hurrah!) for the first time in 2 weeks. I was at a school making units for home school kids in the district. I had to use the men's room and was directed where to go.

I got to the door of the bathroom and pushed the door only to discover that it was really heavy. I stopped for a second to let somene out if there was someone trying to leave. No one came out. Maybe they were letting me come in first or maybe it was just a heavy door.

I tried the door again and it was very heavy still. I pushed it open to be blasted by cold air. When I finally got into the bathroom it was so cold in there that I could see my breath. It was not a particularily cold day outside and there were no windows in the bathroom. I checked.

I shivered as I looked at the decor. Right out of 1972. Wood paneling (and I mean fake plastic wood) covered the upper half of the wall and a green pseudo-marble covered the bottom half. This was the station wagon of bathrooms.

I walked up to the urinal, noticing the red stenciled paint against the faux-marble wall that said "CONTAINS ASBESTOS", and multitasked by peeing and not trying to catch cancer. The urinal basin over my head was gurgling and humming at a low pitch.

I caught something dark out of the corner of my eye race from the far end of the bathroom (by the stall) to the door. It was quick. But the door did not open. I turned around to check without any aim problems and finished up. I did a quick surveillance of the bathroom and the stall door remained as it was when I walked in. The room remained cold but I was warming due to the thumping of my heart.

I went back to my computer and typed about People and Their Environment.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

More Unused Band Names and miscellania!

Is "miscellania" a word? There's another one to add to the band name list!

Back from September I have a few more additions to the ever-growing list of unused band names. As always, the new additions will be in italics and all of them are up for grabs. I only require a post letting me know you're taking it and possibly an mp3 of a song. Otherwise they're all yours. I do it for the children.

1) Bastard Sockhop
2) Sack of Ferrets
3) Openly Straight
4) The Mung Beatles
5) Detritus
6) Terrible Beauty
7) Schnauzer Snake
8) Sirius
9) Orion's Belt
10) Miss Take
11) The Stephen Hawking Project
12) Thunderpope
13) Horny Cheese Grater
14) Anarchist Breakfast
15) Dirty Bastard
16) Painstake
17) The Suffering Fools
18) Superfluous Mandingo
19) Steaming
20) The Lager Tops
21) The Crackspackles
22) Thirteen Stone
23) The Ultimate Pen
24) Homolka Sunbeam
25) Technocult
26) Narcissistic Fibrosis
27) Sins Against Fashion
28) The Irish Roves
29) Gulls on Submarine
30) Between Jobs
31) Above and Bleeding
32) Movies in Arabic
33) With Cheese or Without?
34) Werewolf Balls
35) The Way R2D2 Talks
36) Electric Sheep
37) Anaesthetic Awareness
38) The BDSMs (The Botched Dental Surgery Magnates)
39) Heidi Christ
40) Jesus Fleiss
41) Miscellania

Yes, I know, I am a bad boy.

I am going to work on getting some eBay stuff together today after I eat some Kraft Dinner and Tuna. MMMM...

Went to the used book store today and used bottle return money to buy a copy of Clive Barker's "In the Flesh." Score!

Incidentally, the guy in front of me at the bottle depot returned $97.80 worth of bottles. All booze, I watched him. Mostly types of whiskey. How does one save up $97.80 worth of whiskey bottles?

Monday, November 14, 2005

Botched Dental Work?

Yes. Not a pleasant image.

It's been 2 weeks since my fillings and I still have trouble chewing on that side of my mouth, a visible bruise on the outside of my cheek and a rough edge on the inside of my jawline that is rubbing my tongue raw.

I go back tomorrow for another filling and you best believe this is getting fixed. I'm not much of a whiner but I'm a little tired of folks who can't do their jobs properly. Especially when those jobs have a direct correlation with my well-being .

I mean, geez, at least Laurence Olivier in Marathon Man had a work ethic about him.

"Is it safe?"

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Coolest. Fetus. Ever.

Meg and I just went grocery shopping and since she refused to listen to Refused (see what I did there?) I changed the CD to Turbonegro.

What happens? Baby starts dancing!

My unborn child has better musical taste than most.

That is all.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Comics: Better Late than Never.

Alright. I said I'd do it 2 days ago but never got around to it.

I got meself a bundle of new comics the other day and most notable of them was the entire run of Brubaker and Nguyen's Authority: Revolution.

While it is no secret that this is my favourite superhero team I feel that it has been handled poorly. A few years ago Wildstorm did a crossover called Coup d'Etat where the Authority (a more "adult" rendition of the Justice League for those who don't know) found out something horrible about the American government and decided to take over. Cool right? Superhero heads of state.

It was a cool and original idea. Cue Robbie Morrison. This guy took the brand new idea of The Authority and immediately ran it into the ground. It aready felt cliched by the first issue. While I immensely enjoyed the Scorched Earth special he did for the Authority, this wasn't working.

Morrison's run lasted the entire 13 issues of the second volume of the series.

Where Brubaker (who I can usually give or take) starts off, the Authority are still in charge but he plants seeds early in which we know that this won't last. It is no secret because of the subtitle that the Authority don't come out of this story in charge. It is an incredible story of defeat and self-sacrifice even though they could have continued for years with the "in charge" premise. It was far from played out.

Nguyen's artwork is top notch and very cinematic. Lots of good action scenes and some great contemplative stuff too. The way he draws Bendix is terrifying.

Yeah, I said Bendix. I wished that I was the one who got to bring ole Henry Bendix back to life in comics (in fact I now have to modify my work-in-progress Wildstorm proposal) but at least it was one well. That was only one of the plot points I enjoyed. Jenny Quantum aged herself from 4 to 14? Seems a bit of a copout due to the amount of teen heroes running around but I was getting a little bored about reading stories involving a four year old in a mature readers book. Rose Tattoo? Yes thanks, she was one of my favourite parts of Ellis' Stormwatch and it's only fitting that she's around if Bendix is back.

Something else that should have bothered me: Hawksmoor used to be my favourite comic book character but over the first few isue of this series I really started to put The Doctor in that position. Of course, Doctor doesn't make it out alive but his replacement is interesting and since The Authority is about legacies if it's about anything I'll be around for the next incarnantion.

I also picked up the Ultimate Fantastic Four "Crossover" storyline where the Marvel Zombies are introduced. I feel like I should have enjoyed it more. I'm not sue if I'll be continuing on t that Marvel Zombie mini. Maybe I'll wait for the trade.

Brashly bought the latest JSA issue thinking it was stand-alone. Damn! Another storyline I just started.

Desolation Jones #4 is just as vile and depraved as I'd expect it to be. Not as illuminating or interesting as other issue in the series so far but still good.

Other comic news: Father-in-law Rick brought over the comic box Dav had borrowed a year ago when I went to Scotland so I've gots me some good readin'. I forgot all about Flinch and Weird War Tales. Yippee!

Indie Movie Meme!!!!

Got this one from Tom the Dog

Empire Magazine's 50 Greatest Independent Films.

Bold the ones you've seen and liked.
Strike the ones you've seen and didn't like or which are just plain overrated.
Italicize the ones you haven't seen but want to.
Underline the ones you haven't seen and don't want to.
Don't do anything to the ones you've never heard of.

1. Reservoir Dogs-well yeah! Tim Roth and Harvey Keitel makes this a cinematic wet dream for me. Quentin Tarantino's dialogue has sadly never been better since.
2. Donnie Darko-Jake Gyllygolly is really good in this mindfuck of a movie.
3. The Terminator-Never would have considered it indie before this but, taken as a sci-fi action film, it's almost unbeatable.
4. Clerks-Like Reservoir Dogs, the director hasn't had one as good as this since. Clerks is fantastic!
5. Monty Python's Life of Brian-Definitely not my fave Monty Python film but it still kicks all kinds of ass.
6. Night of the Living Dead-Anyone reading my blog near the end of October will know how much I l9ove this film.
7. Sex, Lies, and Videotape
8. The Usual Suspects-Kevin Spacey is god. Gabriel Byrne is also one of my favourites. I walked around for a week with my jaw scraping the floor after seeing this for the first time.
9. Sideways-While Giamatta gets a little grating by the end of the film (he's supporting actor material, methinks) it is still a funny and poignant film. And! Virginia Madesen from Candyman is in this one! Woot! ;)
10. Mean Streets-Yeah yeah...I haven't seen it yet. Sue me.
11. Bad Taste- I'm the horror guy and this was tripe. Splatterfest pointless bullshit.
12. Eraserhead-Maybe Lynch's best film. Blue Velvet probably beats it out but this one is awesome!
13. Memento-Are films that are mindfucks automatically considered indie? This is an amazing piece of work. Love it.
14. Stranger Than Paradise
15. Blood Simple-I don't dislike it, I just think it's overrated. Not their best work by leaps and bounds. O Brother Where art Thou is one of my favourite movies though.
16. She's Gotta Have It
17. City of God-I've heard lots of good stuff about it.
18. Withnail and I-I have never had any desire to see this.
19. Lone Star
20. Slacker
21. Roger and Me-Moore before he gets a little too preachy and reactionary. Although I've liked his latest stuff this one is just so much more heartfelt and real.
22. Nosferatu-Okay, here's where we're bending the rules a bit isn't it? Weren't all German silent films from the 20s indie? And if so, then there should be a few others higher on this list but I love this one too.
23. The Evil Dead-Shock! Gasp! I like it, it's just totally overrated. Excuse me while i dodge the rotten fruit being thrown at me.
24. Happiness-Ugh...I still feel dirty from watching this film like 8 years ago. Great!
25. Drugstore Cowboy-A drug addict road movie? I've seen Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and I'll leave it at that.
26. Lost in Translation-Bill Murray is the master of quiet, pathetic humour. And I have a crush on Scarlett Johannsen.
27. Dark Star-John Carpenter's spoof of 2001? Yes thanks!
28. In the Company of Men
29. Bad Lieutenant-Harvey Keitel is sometimes so terrifying that it's really nice.
30. Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song
32. Two Lane Blacktop
33. Shallow Grave
34. The Blair Witch Project-Good, but overrated.
35. THX-1138-I don't really care for George Lucas beyond the original Star Wars movies.
36. Buffalo '66-I know, I know Kiki. I'll get to it and it'll have a huge review on the blog when I do.
37. Being John Malkovich-See #13.
38. Grosse Point Blank-It was cute but doesn't really belong on this list.
39. The Passion of the Christ-I'll probably rent it someday but Meg is diametrically opposed to seeing it and Last Temptation of Christ is probably the last movie about Jesus that anyone should watch.
40. The Descent-I'm very intrigued.
41. Dead Man's Shoes-I will eventually shut up about this movie but it is currently my favourite movie ever. Love it! Kiki, go rent this one and I'll rent Buffalo '66. How about that?
42. Swingers-Bad and overrated, too bad you can't double strike.
43. Shadows
44. Amores Perros
45. Mad Max-A little indulgent but fun nonetheless.
46. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre-Well yeah!
47. Blood Feast-I probably should see this.
48. Cube-Good Canadian horror! Funnily enough, Korean students of mine turned me on to this film.
49. Run Lola Run-A cool movie.
50. El Mariachi

What? No Halloween? Pffff!

As promised I'll be back later with comic stuff. I just couldn't resist this.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Fuckity Fuck!

Hello all.

I have returned from the mainland after my Jeopardy audition. If you are really perceptive you may be able to guess how it went by the title of this post.

Out of 200 or so people only 4 actually passed the initial 50 point test and, alas, I was not one of that quadumvirate (is that a word?). I know I got about 20 questions right and am pretty sure about some good guesses so I'm almost certain my score was around 35/50 so it must have had a high cut-off. It was a damn hard test!

All was not lost. I got a cool Jeopardy pen and learned lots of stuff about Jeopardy fom an official Clue Crew member!

-Jeopardy tests 30,000 people a season and only accepts 400.
-Ken Jennings, yeah, this Ken Jennings, failed his first 2 tests so all is not lost.
-They tape only on Tuesdays and Thursdays and tape 5 shows a day. As you can imagine, this can cut down on hotel costs for them but it is slightly misleading due to the fact that they all go backstage and change into a new day's clothes before filming another episode.
-The most important question (the one that I asked) is that the losers no longer get a copy of the Jeopardy home game! They get 2000 dollars for second place and 1000 for third. Guess they figure you can buy your own version of the home game.

I can audition again next year and will do so (if they come back, it was their first time in Vancouver in 8 years!) until I crack the Jeopardy code.

I also picked up some new comics and the new issue of Rue Morgue when I was there so more about them tomorrow.

Incidentally, I think Munich is going to be a fantastic film.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Would you like a drunken bitch with that?

Hey folks,

I'm off to the mainland tomorrow to audition for Jeopardy! That's right, Jeopardy.

I may not update tomorrow but I'll let you know all about it when I get back on Tuesday night.

While I'm gone: one more reason why I hate Ashlee Simpson.

On a totally different note, Warren Ellis sent me here to find Robert E. Howard's suicide note. Sad but beautiful.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Was there ever any doubt?

You scored as Batman, the Dark Knight. As the Dark Knight of Gotham, Batman is a vigilante who deals out his own brand of justice to the criminals and corrupt of the city. He follows his own code and is often misunderstood. He has few friends or allies, but finds comfort in his cause.

Batman, the Dark Knight


James Bond, Agent 007


Indiana Jones


William Wallace




Neo, the "One"


Lara Croft


Captain Jack Sparrow


El Zorro


The Terminator


The Amazing Spider-Man


Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with

No post yesterday. I just got finished two days of substitute teaching and I'm a little bit tired. Yesterday was rather amusing and the kids were good but today was bit of a nightmare. Friday afternoons in a junior high school are never good.

I got some ideas down for stories and stuff so it wasn't a lost cause for writing the past two days.

Currently listening to: Rue Morgue Radio. The song playing right now is what must be the main theme from the Batboy musical. Yes, there is a musical based on the amusing character who has graced many covers of the Weekly World News and apparently is related to Democratic party strategist James Carville.


Wednesday, November 02, 2005

"Filling" you in...

I hope you'll excuse the pun in the title but I had 3 fillings at the dentist today and my mouth is still numb. I don't hate/fear the dentist but no one really enjoys it. Of course, if my dentist ever asks me the question "is it safe?" I will most certainly shit myself.

If you actually find the dentist to be an enjoyable experience then you're clearly seeing the wrong doctor. On the other hand, I enjoy the numb mouth afterwards for two reasons:

1. It reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Mel Torme thinks Kramer (with a frozen mouth) is retarded.

2. I can do a really good Sean Connery impression with my mouth frozen. Of course I think it's good, it may sound more like Jean Chretien.

Making my title more of a double entendre than a pun I'll let you know some stuff about this month.

I am trying to write 1000 words a day towards either my novel, a short story, the conceptualization of an entirely self-sufficient prose universe or comic scripts.

November is novel writing month.

Today I'm working on a practice piece for Dav to draw. The piece we're having published was ,moody, atmospheric and monologue-laden so he deserves some superhero explodo action. Dav, I'm on page four and I think it'll be around ten pages because I wanted to set things up a little better.

On an entirely different note: Warren Ellis posted this link to the Something Awful thread that has a bunch of lame, gun-toting losers who commiserate and, disgustingly, joke about a mentally ill poster of theirs who asked where to buy buckshot for a shotgun and, after being told, killed two people and then himself this Halloween.

I hope the police come down pretty hard on them if it is even possible just for the fact that they advocate gun use.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Goodye October; Hello November: The follow-up show

Wow...what a lot of work October was.

31 days of long-winded reviews of my favourite horror films. I hope you enjoyed the reviews and that you had an awesome Halloween.

I would like to spend the first portion of this post mentioning some folks who did a fine job over the past month.

The fellas at Dark, But Shining always put together a great horror blog but the introduction of guest posters and contests made it even greater for the spooky month. I even was a runner-up in Sam's contest winning me a copy of Japanese horror comic, Uzumaki, that I eagerly await. Go check them out.

Stacie over at Final Girl did more work than anyone this past month. She reviewed a horror movie she had not yet seen for every day of the month including some mind-numbing/hallucination inducing day-long marathons of the Friday the 13th series and Halloween series. Do yourself a favour and go to her October archive and check 'em out. I found a couple of films I'll be tracking down myself. I too won a runner-up prize from Stacie's contest that I just pulled out of my mailbox. Thanks very much. A tip of my hat to you Stacie.

Most of all thanks to the fine folks who read the blog whether you commented or not.

Nightmare World by Aaron Weisbrod is an online horror comic that features some fine 8 page horror vignettes. Go support the guys at Nightmare World.

As far as listening tastes this month go: I dug deep into my Oblong Box Set by the Misfits containing everything recorded during Danzig's time with the band except for They Walk Among Us (under copyright to another record label) and listened to it dutifully over this past month, as well as my iPod playlist of movie themes and Rue Morgue magazine's online radio show (what I'm listening to right now, actually) updated every Friday.

I have decided to maintain a bit of horror-ness to this blog. Before I had the occasional movie review but I will make a conscious effort to talk more about horror in the coming days and months.

Back to regular business...

I will now ramble off some stuff that I have been meaning to mention for a while.

This is a three part scanned page type look at how one Kiwi fella went through to get out of a speeding ticket.

This, the final link of the post, has given me the only thing I will ask for for Christmas: a Trunk Monkey!

I try not to talk about boring pop culture bullshit too much because there are a lot of blogs out there doing that but this month my feelings for Ashlee Simpson went from vapid indifference to hatred that burns like the fire of a thousand suns. I'm not sure which of these lyrics anger me more:

1. You make me wanna la la, la la la.


2. Yea-ah Yea-ah Yea-ah HUH! A dudda dudda boyfriend.

I hate you so much Ashlee.

From what passes for music to a real music meme i pinched from Tom the Dog:

Favourite Beatles song: Happiness is a warm gun The White Album is my favourite album and if I were to choose one song from it it would probably be this one.

Favorite solo song by a former Beatle: I'm going to have a couple here simply because John Lennon rocked so damn much! Nobody Told Me is beautiful song just for the lyric "Everybody's making love but nobody really cares." Cold Turkey is a rough little song about addiction with some beautiful bluesy singing. How Do You Sleep? is a scathing little ditty about Paul McCartney with some lyrics that mek you go ouch!: "Those freaks was right when they said you was dead" and "a pretty face may last you a year or two but pretty soon they'll see what you can do."

Favorite Bob Dylan song: All Along the Watchtower I like me some apocalyptic vision poetry.

Favorite Pixies song: Hmmm...a tie between Dig for Fire and Monkey Gone to Heaven.

Favorite Prince song: Alphabet St. or Shockadelica. I don't like Prince but Ween used these songs in their pseudo cover LMLYP (Let Me Lick Your Pussy). They tried to write a song like Prince and that's what they came up with. Ween kicks all kinds of ass.

Favorite Michael Jackson song: Billie Jean. My knowledge of Michael's music is woefully inadequate but when I was bartending this song always got my head bouncing.

Favorite Metallica song: Not really a tough one. One of my favourite bands and this is one of my favourite songs ever: Sanitarium.

Favorite Public Enemy song: Fight the Power. A little predictable but with the line "Elvis was a hero to most but he never meant shit to me" can you blame me?

Favorite Depeche Mode song: Personal Jesus. But it should read "only Depeche Mode song you like". And only because Johnny Cash covered it.

Favorite Cure song: Bloodflowers.

Favorite song that most of your friends haven't heard: Retrovertigo by Mr. Bungle. Go buy the album "California" right now...I'll wait.

Favorite Beastie Boys song: Gratitude. Wickedest. Bassline. Ever.

Favorite Police song: Message in a Bottle.

Favorite Sex Pistols song: Bodies or Pretty Vacant. Both make my upper lip curl and begin my bobble-head impression of Sid Vicious.

Favorite song from a movie: Do themes count? If so then Halloween by John Carpenter.

Favorite Blondie song: Rapture.

Favorite Genesis song: I can't name one besides that dreadful "I Can't Dance" bullshit. So I bow out of this one.

Favorite Led Zeppelin song: Wow...hmm...Immigrant Song. Every band has their touring song but only Zeppelin told it from the viewpoint of Viking Warlords.

Favorite INXS song: Devil Inside. But Suicide Blonde and Original Sin are good too.

Favorite Weird Al song: I'll say I Lost on Jeopardy and hope it's not prophetic.

Favorite Pink Floyd song: Time from "Dark Side of the Moon" is my favourite but Welcome to the Machine and High Hopes get honourable mentions.

Favorite cover song: My Way by Frank Sinatra. My theory is don't bother covering a song unless you plan on making it your own. Nobody thinks of Paul Anka when they think of My Way. It's Frankie all the way.

Favorite dance song: Like dance music? Not many to choose from but I'll pick Breathe by Prodigy.

Favorite U2 song: I don't like U2. Shock! Horror! I think they're totally overrated and that Bono is a self-righteous fuckface. On the other hand, if I had to pick one song of theirs to listen to it would be Sunday Bloody Sunday.

Favorite disco song: I Was Made For Lovin' You by KISS.

Favorite The Who song: Baba O'Riley or Who Are You?

Favorite Elton John song: Your Song.

Favorite Clash song: Tough one. Right now it's Jimmy Jazz but often it switches between that one, London Calling, Career Opportunities, White Riot and Rudie Can't Fail. If you can't tell, I like the Clash.

Favorite David Bowie song: Diamond Dogs.

Favorite Nirvana song: Something in the Way.

Favorite Snoop Dogg song: Murder Was the Case.

Favorite Ice Cube song: Wicked.

Favorite Johnny Cash song: Jesus! I have to pick one? Delia's Gone is beautiful but The Green Green Grass of Home reminds me of my Grandpa so it wins hands down.

Favorite R.E.M. song: Crush Eyeliner.

Favorite Elvis song: Suspicious Minds is the best song about drugs ever.

Favorite cheesy-ass country song: Tonight the Bottle Let Me Down by Merle Haggard.

Favorite Billy Joel song: Rocket Man.

Favorite Bruce Springsteen song: Jersey Girl because he sounds like Nick Cave on that one.

Favorite Big Audio Dynamite song: As a big fan of The Clash I like to pretend that Big Audio Dynamite never existed. If I had to pick one then it would be Rush.

Favorite New Order song: Blue Monday is the only one I know and that song's alright with me.

Favorite Neil Diamond song: Solitary Man is one of the best songs ever written.

Favorite Squeeze song: I have no idea who Squeeze are.

Favorite Smiths song: How Soon is Now? a bit of a copout but I don't really know the Smiths very well.

Favorite Tragically Hip Song: New Orleans is Sinking is the only Hip song I like.

Favorite Beach Boys song: Good Vibrations, Heroes and Villains, God Only Knows, In My Room and Wouldn't It Be Nice. I grew up on them. I couldn't possibly narrow it down.

Favorite Dave Matthews Band song: Don't Drink the Water.

Favorite Dire Straits song: Sultans of Swing.

Favorite Elvis Costello song: Allison.

Favorite Guns 'N Roses song: Don't Damn Me.

Favorite Jimi Hendrix song: Hey Joe.

Favorite John Mellencamp song: Ugh...

Favorite Living Colour song: April Rain. It's a Corey Glover solo song but I'm changing the rules.

Favorite Neil Young song: Southern Man.

Favorite Paul Simon song: Call Me Al.

Favorite Simon & Garfunkel song: Bridge over Troubled Water. Johnny Cash and Fiona Apple cover it beautifully on Johnny's last album.

Favorite Queen song: Princes of the Universe. I can't count how many times I've sung along to this song.

Favorite Radiohead song: Just or Karma Police.

Favorite Sting song: If I ever Lose my Faith In You.

Favorite Tracy Chapman song: Fast Car.

Favorite Van Morrison song: Moondance. But there was a song of his that was used for an ad before the trailers started at the movies in Glasgow that went something like: "Boogaloo baby! I made it great!" That's my Favourite Van Morrison song. Please tell me the name.

Favorite XTC song: I had to look them up and still didn't find a song I recognize.

My blog is worth $4,516.32.
How much is your blog worth?

God! And so ends the longest post ever. I will be shorter in the future. I'm coming back through November with writing updates and I may even post a few snippets if I like what I'm doing.